Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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