bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
