I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
