Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
His nipple licking is glorious
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