There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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