Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize