I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize