i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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