so explain again why im purple
no
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
