I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
