mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
