her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We talked him into tasing himself.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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