Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
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He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
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He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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