He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
