My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
