You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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