we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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