Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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