It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Randomize
