how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
