i jhust puked up my retainher.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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