So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize