Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
