You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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