Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
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she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
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How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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