her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize