Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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