Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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