whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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