She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
