Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I wish I only lived at night.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
