You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
