So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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