Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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