Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
id be glad to
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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