Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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