I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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