just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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