i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
