You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
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He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
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Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize