my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize