why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
