If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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