I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
