Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
