FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
