Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
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yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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