i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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