Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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