Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize