So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
