i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
