it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
